Sorry for being so politically correct…actually I’m not.

Let me start by saying it’s been a while since I’ve felt passionate enough about something like this to write an entire blog post, but here we are. I’m not here to argue with people who are transphobic, those who vehemently insist posts like the ones I’m going to mention are not transphobic, or trolls of any type. I’m here for the lurkers – the ones who are on the fence or still learning about what being an ally is or trying to decide if they are one.

It all started with a picture of a basketball that had “I identify as a pumpkin” written on it in sharpie that was placed in the middle of a holiday pumpkin display. The caption was “Welcome to Halloween in 2019.”

It took me just about all day to get to the root of why it bothered me and how to articulate those ideas. Put simply, posts like those, which make their rounds on social media all the time, are transphobic. Whether they’re meant to be that way or not, that’s what they are.

Here are the common arguments against my perspective and my rebuttals to them. You’re welcome.

If everyone is “too politically correct,” humor will no longer exist.

Step one: throw the term politically correct in the trash. It’s a misused and unclear term for what is usually just empathy.

Step two: Don’t be a lazy comedian. This is far from an original idea – I’ve seen tons of comedians explain why jokes against minorities are so overrated. There’s lots more out there if you try a little bit harder and get educated on comedy theory. (I’ll give you a hint – loss of control i.e. those videos of people falling, comedy about animals, and other “relatable” content will almost always get a chuckle from me.)

“My trans [insert other minorities] friend thinks it’s funny.”

STOP there. This is another form of “I have a black friend,” but worse. One person cannot say for a fact that their opinion reflects that of their entire community. Your one friend of this community cannot say that another person in that community, especially one who is not out (in the case of specific gender and sexuality communities) wouldn’t be hurt by this.

“We need to laugh at ourselves.”

Are you a member of the community that this joke is about? If it’s not at your expense, you really don’t have a right to say that.

iT’s JuSt A jOkE

Maybe it is to you. Maybe you meant no harm in sharing it. But let me point this out: the wording, specifically the term “identify” is loaded. In this context and in the context of our culture and political climate at this time, images such as these were intended for the audience of people who don’t believe you can look like one thing and identify as something else. Those people are inherently anti-trans. This could’ve easily gone a different direction if the pumpkin said, “don’t tell them I’m not a pumpkin” or “this is my Halloween costume” or something along those lines that depicts it as an undercover basketball or a basketball dressed up for Halloween. The word identify is a red flag here.

My other issues with posts like these:

A: It’s using inanimate objects to symbolize real people and their feelings and their lives. You can’t get much more objectifying than that – thanks patriarchy and new application for the male gaze.

B: Anything with any variation of “crying,” “snowflake,” or other name-calling and the message of “you’re being too emotional” is usually gas lighting (definition – to manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity.) This response can earn you a swift block from me.

C: Do we not still teach children “it’s what’s on the inside that counts?” Allies don’t care what you look like – it’s not relevant to our respect for people.

D: The phrase “Welcome to Halloween in 2019” insinuates that being a different gender or sexuality is a trend or something new. It’s making light of something that a lot of people have suffered over for years in silence.

E: This picture is essentially saying, “you’re a basketball and you’ll never be a pumpkin no matter how hard you try.” In this case, those items seem to be placeholders for woman and man. So, if I have any trans friends out there reading, I just want to say, you’re a fucking pumpkin and don’t let anyone tell you any different.

I’ll end this by quoting myself, “Yeah, I guess I’m serious as a heart attack when it comes to posts that I feel like further degrade minorities that already have a rough go of it.”

Self Care…as a Writer?

Self care is such a popular topic these days, and believe me, I. Am. Living. for it. The new Queer Eye is on Netflix, and the Fab Five are teaching people of the world how to love themselves, one complex soul at a time. I want there to be 365 episodes of that show so that I can peacefully fall asleep to the sound of utter positivity every night of the year. I want to absorb it through my TV while I sleep – that’s how osmosis works, right?

Putting the self care concept into practice…well, that part is not always so easy. Everybody has got a lot on their plate – some more than others. And it’s easy to hype up other people, and value them and their uniqueness, but it’s not as easy to do for yourself. Some of us even struggle with the basics of sleeping, eating, showering, and working out when we should, much less getting into the deeper caverns of self love and appreciation. Living your best life is easier said than done.

I recently saw some criticism of the new self care mentality as simply promoting capitalism and buying beauty products or other comfort items. However, that’s far from my understanding of it. To me, self care is mostly about the SELF part – knowing yourself and what you need and want, so obviously that’s going to be different for everyone.

For me, taking long baths with luxurious, cruelty-free face masks is actually a part of it…and maybe the occasional online shopping, and weirdly enough, playing Design Home on my iPad, which I haven’t played in months. For someone else, self care might be watching their favorite show, sitting outside for an hour, or getting up early to have a nice cup of tea. Basically you’re just looking for a few moments a day that are just for you, where you can find joy and reflect on your life. Take the time for yourself so that you have that much more energy to put forth later.

My last two weeks were really stressful personally – deployment, sick cat, busy work schedule, etc. I can probably count on one hand the number of times I brushed my hair. When did I eat last…what did I eat? It’s a blur. I think I might have even gone three weeks without doing my laundry. There was trash in my car, which strongly reflected the way I felt – like trash.

Even worse? I did little to nothing for my writer half. I didn’t read a single book even though I’ve been carrying one around in my purse for weeks. I didn’t work on critiques or querying or blogging (no surprise there). The only things I did write were required work-related tasks, and even then, I turned in a lot of those late. So all of this has got me asking:

How can I take better care of myself as a writer?

Where can I find those peaceful moments that I need to reflect and grow my creativity?

How can I rest when I need to rest and work when I need to work to maximize my productivity?

WHAT DO I DO?

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Self care phase two: my writerly self care plan.

The biggest part of my plan is making things become routine and part of my everyday habits, rather than goals I only accomplish once a month. Even if it’s just a couple minutes of reading or writing a day, I have a feeling it’s going to help. So I’ve made a list to get started and I encourage other writers to do the same if they think it will work for them!

Write everyday. Even when I don’t want to. Even when what I’m writing sucks.
Query at least an agent a week. My book is realistically never going to get published if I keep the super slow, almost nonexistent pace I’ve been going.
READ. I’m still finding time logistically for this one – like maybe first thing in the morning or before bed? Or in the bathtub? I’m going to finish that novel in my purse this week or else I am unsubscribing from Hulu.
Schedule out my social media. I like to keep up on relevant writing topics and such, but my author FB page and Twitter account have been basically dead for two weeks now. I need to have at least a month preplanned.
Write what feels right. If I’m burned out on my fiction project, maybe I’ll write a Haiku. Maybe I’ll even write another blog post. I might surprise us all.

I’ve been told making a plan is half the battle, but I’ve still got my work cut out for me. Let’s see how it goes!

Fellow writers, I challenge you to consider your own writerly self care plan and what that means to you. Give me your ideas in the comments. And to everyone else, do the little things for yourself on a daily basis. You need them. Trust.

MFA Final Thoughts…

Hello, faithful readers. Earlier this week I graduated from Seton Hill University with a Master of Fine Arts degree in Writing Popular Fiction after two and a half years. It’s taken me a few days to unpack (physically and emotionally), but here it is.

I’m very thankful for the program – there’s no other program with a focus on genre writing exactly like it. The MFA at SHU teaches students how to write fiction that’s meant to be consumed by the public at large. We write the very books that we (and many others out there) love to read – for fun no less!

If you were one of the lucky attendees at my thesis reading, you’ve heard the thank yous, you’ve seen me demonstrate the lessons I’ve learned by reading part of my thesis novel, and you got the meet the most important people during my time in the program: my critique partners and mentors (shout out to Katie Catanzarite, David von Schlichten, Joy Held, Anne Lynch, and my dream team mentor duo – Heidi Ruby Miller and Paul Goat Allen.)

I recommend this program to anyone who wants to give novel writing their best effort. It undoubtedly changed my life and improved my work and mindset as a writer forever. For those who don’t want the soul-crushing student loans of a graduate education or just don’t quite “get it,” let me sum up some of my biggest lessons from the program.

Build your tribe and keep them with you. I know it sounds cheesy, but this is a huge one. Over the course of your life, you’ll probably have many tribes small and large regardless of what your passions are. However, for writers, feedback from your peers is essential if you want to create market-ready material. I consider nearly all of the SHU WPF students and alum part of my family, and then I also have that special aforementioned smaller tribe comprised of teachers and writer friends I hold dear. I couldn’t have made it through the program without their support, and I will continue to harness and appreciate it as long as I can!
READ READ READ. If you want to write great books, you need to read great books. It’s not always about studying or imitating the experts, but instead getting the flavor of as many books in your genre as you can – and some outside of your genre too. Read like your life depends on it. Know what’s hot, what’s not, and keep loving books the way you did before you considered yourself a writer, and you’ll become a better writer.
Don’t stop learning. I may do another degree, or I may not. Either way, it would take many lifetimes to learn every tool of the trade and there are so so many ways I can pick up on these tools (besides formal schooling), and I can always add to my collection of writing skills and experiences. Every day I need to learn more about life and about writing, and I need to make the lessons count. I’m nowhere near done as a person or a writer.
Network!!! I LOVED networking during this MFA program. I would talk about writing literally from the time I woke up until the time I went to bed (like 1am) in an effort to make connections in my industry. I feel like I know writers all over the country now and I’ll never be alone at conferences. I know so many impressive SHU alum (looking at you Hanna, Carrie, Suz, Cathy, Traci, and so many others) as well as guest speakers we’ve had, plus my teachers and classmates. It’s already been great to have these connections and I look forward to strengthening them and making more.
It’s never done, and that’s okay. You could write, then rewrite, and rewrite again for your whole life. It’s hard, but this program taught me when to say “good enough” or “I’ll come back to this later.” I’m proud of my thesis and I’m ready to move on to something new as a pursue an agent’s representation for my work.

Next week I hope to blog again, and maybe even share some insider secrets I learned at this semester’s five day residency in Greensburg.

Drop a question in the comments about writing, my MFA, my thesis or anything else. I will gladly get back to you!

#SHUWPF

My thesis is titled “Just Breathe.”

Me and my mentor Paul Goat Allen.

Me and my mentor Heidi Ruby Miller.

Me getting hooded on stage.

Me and my two amazing critique partners, Katie and Dave.

Good riddance, 2018!

I think we can all agree that 2018 was a dumpster fire of a year – in one way or another, 2018 did you wrong. Politically, financially, and emotionally, it was draining. However, some good things happened in 2018, and I’m certain some better ones will happen in 2019. We have to hope, right?

If you followed me back in the Kylie Says blogging days, you’ll recall that this is the time of year where I write out my accomplishments for this past year and goals for the next year, and swear that I’ll be better about blogging more routinely. (It’s okay if you’re a little doubtful about that part. I’ll do my best.)

That being said, here’s what I did, and what I hope to do. When you’re done reading this, I challenge you to post in the comments with three accomplishments and three goals of your own!

School:

I finished my MFA…almost! Next week I’ll have my final residency in Greensburg where I will read/argue my thesis (a young adult novel) and hopefully graduate – as long as 2019 isn’t out for blood the way 2018 was. Is it totally arrogant to put Kylie Peters, MFA at the end of my emails from now on? #maybe

As I’m coming up on graduation, I’m thinking about going for master’s degree round two. Am I insane for considering more schooling? Undoubtedly. But when you’ve got so much student loan debt already, it starts to feel like a Mean Girls situation (“the limit does not exist”). Butttttttt, I love the idea of working in a library, and not just shelving the books, but being a head librarian, and the idea of earning a salary someday appeals to my liberal, millennial self. So master’s of library and information science, here I come! #maybe

Writing:

This year I finished my first novel! Well technically it was last year, but then I spent a really long time editing it this year with the help of critique partners and mentors. And a writer’s work is never finished, but I think Just Breathe is as ready as it can be. So, I’ve started querying agents. One rejection, two query letters currently out in the wild, and I hope to query many more once residency is over.

I also had two short stories published this year, and that was a lot of fun. For 2019, I’d like to write several more short stories and another novel. And not to jinx things, but maybe this year I really will blog regularly, or at the very least use that as a procrastination tool a little more often than I currently do. I also know that I need to read a lot more this year, so I’m going to go ahead and say my goal is to read 30 books this year. That’s totally doable.

Work:

I’m still doing those god forsaken car blogs (advertising content for car dealerships). I like to complain about them, but at the end of the day it’s not all that bad…and I need money. I’m also still accepting assignments for editing from a few different companies, and I will gladly do whatever you have on the side. Email me for rates. And new for this year, I picked up a gig doing some social media managing, which is surprisingly fun. However, I’ve gotten kind of addicted to emojis (is there a WordPress widget or plug-in for that? SOS)

My personal life:

This year I got engaged, which was a surprise to no one after six years of dating (also I picked the ring). We’re officially getting married on August 1st, but I went ahead and started using the name a little early as a pen name because that makes life easier. Peters vs. Weisenborn…which one can you say and spell?

And I adopted not one, but two cats (in my defense, the second one was a flea-infested trash gremlin, so I kind of had to…who can resist that?). And a theme, maybe not for the year, but for the last bit of the year for me, was personal growth. Have you seen Jada Pinkett Smith’s Red Table Talk? Because goals. That family has more emotional intelligence than *insert bad joke here*. I will definitely be talking about this more in the future because I’m obsessed.

So, like I said, feel free to comment below about your own goals and accomplishments or to request a blog post topic for me to write next! Ciao!